Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
