My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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