Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
