can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
