Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
