Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
