We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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