So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bring me that man meat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
