yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and she was petting her beer can
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
