talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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