she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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