seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
