My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
