Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
