She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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