You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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