I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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