You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
