Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
