I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
