i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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