Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
