Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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