I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
