You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
