I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
