I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
