I feel like abortions should bother me more
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
