We're facebook friends in real life
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
