And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
