I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
