I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm too high and old for this...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
