You surviving the open bar?
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He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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