the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
