There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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