you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
