fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
