Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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