I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
