found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
