I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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