We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
