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I could have mohawked her pubes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
