So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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