I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just had sex bonerless
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
