White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
