Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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