I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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