So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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