my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
