the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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